did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
