Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
