Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
