awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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