The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
