Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
