It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
