he shaved USA in his pubs
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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