I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
she told me i tasted like america
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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