Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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