I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
