Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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