After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
