I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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