You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
