During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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