Just mADE A PArabola og urine
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
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I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck