dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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