FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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