I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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