hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just googled if crying burns calories
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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