and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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