Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
