yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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