I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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