the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
