Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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