I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
You smell like stripper and shame
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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