my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
