Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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