Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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