Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
