JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
