are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
