Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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