I wanna bring you to show and tell
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
there was a trapeze. enough said
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I pour the whiskey from now on
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
