Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
