U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
