Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
