Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
