Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
