i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
