This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
