In the future we'll all be gay
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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