i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize