Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  therell be strippers and coke right?

  (703): View more from Virginia

  no strippers. just coke.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i hate this fuckin recession

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  (202): therell be strippers and coke right? (703): no strippers. just coke. (202): i hate this fuckin recession http://tfl.nu/1tv9
  Replies (22) Good night (10872) Bad night (2687)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore

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  (702): I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore http://tfl.nu/l7gt
  Replies (37) Good night (5586) Bad night (2120)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.

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  (586): The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis. http://tfl.nu/rix3
  Replies (17) Good night (5104) Bad night (1130)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"

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  (575): The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order" http://tfl.nu/htwe
  Replies (18) Good night (12906) Bad night (1165)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.

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  (908): My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv. http://tfl.nu/oqts
  Replies (61) Good night (10799) Bad night (1858)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.

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  (617): im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone. http://tfl.nu/veb9
  Replies (5) Good night (2668) Bad night (1877)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow

  (1-785): View more from Kansas

  why would you restrict a girl of that

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  (785): coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow (1-785): why would you restrict a girl of that http://tfl.nu/flyl
  Replies (6) Good night (2204) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra

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  (719): There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra http://tfl.nu/4qki
  Replies (2) Good night (1178) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.

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  (248): I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom. http://tfl.nu/9ssn
  Replies (3) Good night (1013) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight

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  (816): the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight http://tfl.nu/st8j
  Replies (3) Good night (1709) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!

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  (901): You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?! http://tfl.nu/9kiq
  Replies (5) Good night (1135) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  You should come by for the fire station blow job tour

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  (817): You should come by for the fire station blow job tour http://tfl.nu/ymfu
  Replies (3) Good night (790) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it

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  (714): I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it http://tfl.nu/cek3
  Replies (3) Good night (504) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush

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  (815): You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush http://tfl.nu/lq9w
  Replies (11) Good night (539) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?

  (1-802): View more from Vermont

  Why do you think I have a job?

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  (802): Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future? (1-802): Why do you think I have a job? http://tfl.nu/fsnx
  Replies (3) Good night (740) Bad night (284)

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