Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
