New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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