So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
