Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
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She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
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I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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