I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize