I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
