Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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