Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You're earring is so big in my mouth
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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