he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
