I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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