dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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