Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
