hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
