I showed him my bush... on skype.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My breasts were aching with rage.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
