Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
