I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
