i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
