you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I have already put on my inside pants.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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