I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
