Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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