You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
