Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I'm always down for nudity.
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